The Place to Write for Abuse
 If you were to turn to the later pages of a more recent issue of
PC Zone Magazine, you'd probably find yourself reading something extremely dull about games. But back in 1998, things were different. Turn to page 154 of the mag, and you'd be confronted with an alternative letters coloumn full of hate, sarcasm and crap ideas for games. This letters colomn was called Sick Notes, and it's editor was none other than Charlie Brooker.
Presumably invented due to the sheer quantity of inane correspondance flooding in from the magazine's readership, Sick Notes gave Charlie a perfect chance to demonstrate his talent for being nasty to people, and drawing funny pictures. Every month, some poor soul would write in defending a godawful metal band like Marilyn Manson, only to be mercilessly cut down by Brooker in a scathing bold-text response. Or somebody would write in with the ever-popular 'have lots of sex with a girl' game idea, only for 'sneeringly unpleasent' Brooker to bet them ten quid that they have 'silver stains'down their trousers and a 'haunted look' in their eyes.
Usually, Charlie would find some way to lever an imaginative, Tv Go Home - esque piece of writing into the proceedings.  One guy actually wrote in to complain about this, prompting a deliberately irrelevant response by Charlie about MI5 and 'signals'. But it was Charlie's alternation between inspired cruelty and rambling social comment in his replies that made Sick Notes so funny.
It was sort of like the Radio Times letters page, but more hateful. And edited by a man who you wouldn't want round for Sunday lunch.
Sneering Unpleasantly
A lot of people didn't get it, but for me, Sick Notes was the best thing about Zone. Every month I would buy the magazine solely to see what Charlie had written, much like I do with the Guardian at the moment. I never really got tired of the cheery debate topics, including 'worst band ever', 'shittest town in Britain' and 'kill the stupid'. Oh, the wonderfully bitter magic of it all!
Charlie did get tired of it, and Sick Notes was put to rest in late 1999.
After proclaiming Blackpool the worst place in Britain, and humiliating countless shambling loners, CB felt that his page had become 'boring', and lost it's way.
The final edition of the obscene letters column was a 'get your own back special', where regular contributors were allowed to let rip; filling up ¾ of the page with impassioned, hateful diatribe about Charlie's many supposed failings.
Charlie's response? 'You're all completely right.. of course'.
Sick Notes may be gone, but thanks to the Church of Charlie Brooker, you can download four classic issues as lovely WinZip files .
That's right. Wallow in the hatred, scumboy. Wallow away.
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